I woke up this morning, remembering the dream I had from last night. It was about Pirates that lived in the woods. It was good because I was a pirate and I got to use a sword.
Mummy came into see if I was awake and wanted kissy wissys. I hate kissy wissys anytime, especially in the morning, so I just made some weird noises and pushed her away before demanding she carry me downstairs because “I’m tired!”
Once downstairs I demanded a biscuit. I do this most mornings and as always she says “we don’t have biscuits for breakfast do we?”
She’ll crack one day… I know she will.
I debated with her over porridge or Coco Pops. “Porridge will fill you up and help warm you up,” she said. I chose Coco Pops.
I asked for a refill, but then decided I didn’t want it. I like the look of a full bowl, even if it makes mummy whisper words as she’s scraping it into the bin. Melia did it with toast the other day and mummy went on and on about how it was a waste to ask for food and then not eat it. It was funny because then Melia said to mummy “well you eat it then”
Anyway, so half way through Ben & Holly, (mummy’s favourite!) she tells us it’s time to get dressed for school. So I did, like a good boy, all on my own. I’ve stopped throwing tantrums since it made mummy cry one day and she threatened to send me back to the shop she bought me from. It was quite scary really as before she cried, her face turned red and it looked like her head would spin off in to space forever and ever. I think she was being serious. But I like school now, so it’s ok.
So we got dressed and then it was time to brush teeth. I didn’t really want to this morning so I just sucked the toothpaste off and gave it back to mummy. Apparently this wasn’t good enough so she made me sit on her knee so she could do it for me. She kept talking about my teeth falling out but I wasn’t really listening.
She asked us to put our shoes on three times and then it was time to go.
I love the walk to school unless it’s windy. Then I just scream and cry because it blows my hood down, and I don’t like that, but usually it’s fun. Me & Melia play at not stepping on the cracks, then swinging off mummy’s arms like monkeys and jumping on leaves, or making really loud owl sounds, or shooting webs at cars and people! That last bit is my bestest, but mummy doesn’t like it because it’s rude to shoot people or something. I don’t really care though because I’m three and Dr Seuss says, “Be who are, and say what you feel. Because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind!” So there!
I love school, and today I played with the play dough and at building and colouring in. I like Jake the best but I don’t like Charlie anymore because he hit me in the face with something. It was so bad, he had to say sorry and have thinking time and everything.
I cried a bit, but I got lots of cuddles and the cold Mr Bump on my cheek, and that made me feel better.
Mummy picked me up and started asking loads of questions about who’d hit me and if I’d done anything first. I told her I hadn’t, but I heard her tell the teacher that I sometimes get boys-trucks (boisterous), but I don’t mind, because I am a boy, not a girl, and that’s good.
We got home and mummy made cheese toasties with cucumbers and bamatoes. I demanded a wrap. Empty. Nothing in it. Just as it comes out of the packet. I still ate the toasty and all my salad. I love bamatoes (tomatoes)!!!
After lunch I was feeling a bit sleepy, so I grabbed my blanket and headed to mummy. She gives the best squidgy cuddles but always kisses my cheeks!! She’s even stopped wearing lipstick so she can do it without leaving any evidence! NOTE TO SELF – Must think of ways to stop this from continuing! She must be stopped!
Anyway, so I’ve been super good all afternoon and mummy seems happy, until she realises the time and that we’re running late for school.
Pirate top? Check!
Shoes on? Check!
Cardi & Coat on? Check!
Thomas the Tank Engine walkie-talkie? Check!
We got a few jumps down the road when I realised the plastic covering of the antenna had come off.
All of a sudden it seemed like a big black cloud has descended over me and all I could do is collapse in a heap on the floor and scream “I NEED MY THING!!! I’VE LOST MY THING!!”
Mummy just doesn’t understand! All she keeps saying is that we’re going to be late for my sister and that we’ll find it on the way home!
What?! What is she suggesting? That we just leave my thing! Somewhere lost on the floor for some stranger to find? No way!
I refused to move! I stood my ground! Noooooooooooooooooooo! She’s picked me up! She’s carrying me further and further away from my thing!
She puts me down. What? She wants me to walk now! I don’t think so! I slump again, against a wall this time.
She picks me up again “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY THING!!!” I scream as I reach out towards the direction in which we’ve just left my thing!
Mummy tells me to stop screaming and shouting because it looks like she’s ab ducking me or something. I don’t care! I just want my thing!
We get to school and she puts me down again. I refuse to walk once more and this time she’s taking no prisoners! I go straight over her shoulder. I hit her in the face! She doesn’t flinch? She must be becoming immune to my powers!! She deposits me in the playground whilst she goes to get Melia, and breathes a sigh of relieve whilst I continue to sob over my lost thing.
She’s talking to the teacher and now some lady’s come over and is asking me if I’m lost! No! I’m not lost you silly lady! I’ve lost my thing!!!
Then, almost on cue, mummy pipes up! “He’s just tantrumming!” She says. The lady smiles and leaves.
We walk at a pitiful pace home and then Melia tries to push the button for the green man. A swift kick to her leg whilst holding my hand over the button solves that… Until mummy tells me off, tells me to say sorry and threatens me with the naughty step! I don’t care about the naughty step! Doesn’t she understand? She’s ruined my life! (For the day)
We get to where the tragedy happened and mummy starts searching for the thing. It’s nowhere to be found! “Someone’s stolen it” I tell mummy. She disagrees and we head home.
We get inside and almost immediately mummy says “What is that William?”
“I don’t care!” I sulk.
Melia picks something up, “It’s here William, it’s here!”
“My thing!!” I squeal in delight! It was at home after all!!
This is the best day of my life!!!!
Mummy looks less amused, but I say sorry and give her a big squidgy widgy cuddle and a kiss to make up for it and she start making tea.
I pull all my toys out to give her something else to do and then spend ten minutes singing on the toilet.
After tea it’s bath time and me and Melia shoot water at each other and play mermaids whilst mummy’s going on about someone called Sue Narmi. Must be one of her friends.
Then we get our PJ’s on which usually don’t match – I like to shake things up a little! We then have a cup of milk and a cookie and climb into bed for a story. We love Room on a Broom at the moment. It’s so funny and I love the dragon bit.
We have lots of snuggles and even though I have my own bed, I like to sleep next to Melia because she’s my sister and my bestest friend ever, and that makes me happy.
Night Night.